My name is Jayne Salisbury-Jones. I’d like to share my story with you, as I believe it can help so many other parents with their mental health.

In 2018 I was expecting my first child. I was a teacher and newly married. Everything was perfect. Unfortunately my pregnancy didn’t go as expected and I ended up leaving work and never going back. 

At 13 weeks I was diagnosed with bilateral inguinal hernias and struggled to walk. I then got PGP and at 30 weeks was diagnosed with severe pre eclampsia. 

My son was born by emergency C-section and straight after I was admitted to Intensive care, with pulmonary oedema, sepsis and eclampsia.

It was an absolute nightmare! Not only was I fighting for my life but I missed the first week of my child’s life and all the important bonding moments. 

Thankfully I survived, I’ve been left with long term health issue but at least I’m still here.

 

My mental health took a turn for the worst. I was so worried that I would die, so worried that my son would be without his Mum, angry and guilty I missed my first week with him and left him, upset that I didn’t get the perfect family moment when my son was born, upset that I needed a lot of support at home, and eventually I lost my job due to ill health, which gave me the added stress of how I’d cope financially and the pressure this put on my husband.

 

My whole life had changed and I felt like I’d lost everything. I was a new mother but an anxious depressed mess.

I recognised signs of my downward spiral and referred myself to ptsd and cbt courses.

These really helped me at the time but then when I was home again and especially in the still and dark of the night, I’d really struggle. 

 

I’ve always had a way with words, spoke my mind and been pretty blunt. This got me thinking about why no one was ever honest about child birth. Why did know one ever tell you the impact, the health implications, the what ifs, How hard it was to have a new born baby. 

I appreciated that my circumstances around child birth were pretty extreme, but even the day to day things after the birth were hard and never talked about. 

 

To cheer myself up and to help occupy my mind at my real low moments, I took to writing funny, honest, poignant poetry. 

Things I wanted to say that had never been said. Things I think people should say. After a few weeks of doing this, my husband read some and said I should put some on Facebook because they could help other people and make them laugh, make them feel like they are not alone in feeling the things I do.

So I set up a Facebook page called ‘What they don’t tell you about being a Mum’. 

Each day I added a poem to the page, and to my amazement the page took off. 

I had people from all over the world messaging me. Laughing, agreeing, thanking me for saying the things people never say, telling me how lonely they felt and they were glad it wasn’t just them. 

It was incredible. 

 

After several months I was contacted by a publisher who asked if I would be willing to make my writing into a book.

My health was still poor and I was just coping with life so I declined. 

When everything settled down a bit, I decided to contact them to see it they were still willing to make my work into a book and they agreed. 

 

On August 31st 2022 my book ‘What they don’t tell you about being a Mum’ was published.  This is still absolutely crazy to me. It feels like I’m in another world. 

The book is on Amazon and in all major book stores worldwide. 

Never did I imagine amongst my adversity that a success story could arise. 

 

This book saved me! And yes I still have my struggles, but I have a focus. I have my followers on my Facebook page, where I still upload a poem to daily. We are like a family of parents now. And of course I have my gorgeous son. My reason to keep going. My reason to get up of a morning, to get well. 

Mummy guilt never goes away, but I’ve learnt to manage it. 

 

I want my book to help other parents and people struggling with mental health. The whole idea behind it is, it’s ok not to be ok, it’s ok to say how you feel, it’s ok to laugh and cry, and most importantly, we are all in this together.